A parent’s guide to emotional regulation in early childhood
Early childhood is a stage full of discoveries, learning, and intense emotions. Young children experience joy, excitement, frustration, fear, and anger in a very powerful way, and they are still learning how to manage those feelings.
Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills children develop during their preschool years. It is the foundation for healthy relationships, positive behavior, learning readiness, and long-term emotional well-being.
This guide will help you understand what emotional regulation is, what is normal at this age, and how you can support your child at home.
What is emotional regulation in early childhood?
Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in a healthy way. For young children, this means learning how to calm their bodies, express their feelings with words, and recover after becoming upset.
At preschool age, children are still developing the part of the brain responsible for self-control and decision-making: the prefrontal cortex. This means they need adult guidance to learn how to regulate their emotions.
Emotional regulation is not something children are born with.
It is a skill they learn through experience and support.
What is normal at preschool age?
Between the ages of 2 and 6, it is completely normal for children to:
- Have tantrums when they feel overwhelmed
- Cry when they are frustrated or tired
- Get angry when things do not go their way
- Struggle with waiting and sharing
- React strongly to small disappointments
These reactions are part of healthy development. Children are learning how emotions work and how to manage them little by little.
Why emotional regulation is key for learning and behavior
Research shows that children who develop strong emotional regulation skills:
- Adapt better to school routines
- Have stronger social relationships
- Show better attention and focus
- Develop higher self-confidence
- Cope better with stress and change
According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, self-regulation is one of the core building blocks of healthy development and academic success.
What to do: practical strategies for parents
Help your child name their emotions. When children can put words to what they feel, they gain control over their emotions. You can say, “I see you are feeling angry because the game ended,” or “You look sad because you wanted more time.”
Teach calming strategies. Practice deep breathing, counting slowly, squeezing a stress ball, hugging a stuffed animal, or taking a short quiet break. These tools help children calm their nervous system.
Validate feelings before correcting behavior. You can say, “I understand you are upset. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to hit.”
Create predictable routines. Routines help children feel safe and reduce emotional overload.
Model emotional regulation. When you feel frustrated, say out loud, “I’m feeling upset, so I’m going to take a deep breath and calm down.” Children learn by watching you.
When should parents seek support?
Consider seeking professional guidance if your child:
- Has very frequent and intense emotional outbursts
- Is unable to calm down even with support
- Shows persistent aggression
- Has difficulty functioning at school or at home
Early support can make a big difference.
Final thoughts for parents
Strong emotions are not a problem.
They are part of learning how to be human.
With patience, guidance, and consistency, children can learn to understand their feelings and manage them in healthy ways that will support them for life.
Scientific References
Harvard Center on the Developing Child – Self-Regulation and Executive Function
American Psychological Association – Emotional Development in Early Childhood
Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL)
National Scientific Council on the Developing Child – Building the Brain’s Core
